


Blizzards and Boogeymen

by orphan_account



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Barebacking, Filming, Fluff, M/M, Smut, Spit As Lube, Top Ryan, bottom shane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 20:54:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14553333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The boys get stuck in a Minnesota blizzard while staying overnight at a haunted location. Shane knows one surefire way to warm up.





	Blizzards and Boogeymen

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Shyan MiniBang 2018

“They say that this is the area that the maid hung herself,” Ryan said, walking backwards and talking to the camera that Shane was holding up.

“So, why’d she kill herself now?” Shane asked. The floorboards of the Griggs Mansion creaked as they walked, and Ryan quietly cursed the amount of work he and the post production team would need to put into dulling those sounds.

“There’s a couple of theories.” Ryan knew he’d probably end up telling this story over again when they did their stationary discussion, but it was good to explain it to Shane in the moment as well. “They know it was due to a failed relationship, but the nature of the relationship is up for debate. A lot of folks think she was depressed over a failed affair with the architect of the manor; he left the home randomly just a few years after he spent so much time having it built. Others think it was just a run of the mill lover that she was depressed over.”

“Well what do  _ you _ think?” Shane asked. Ryan smirked. A part of him knew Shane was baiting him, and no matter what answer he gave it would probably result in some snarky response. But this was Ryan’s passion and dammit if he couldn’t resist.

“I think it was an affair with Chauncey Griggs. Most of the time when spirits manifest, especially as strongly as the maid’s spirit has been claimed to – it’s because of a strong connection to the house and the situation that caused the death. What better place to haunt and mourn for eternity than the home of the man who abandoned you and accidentally caused your death?”

“Wow, Ryan. You’re just a ray of sunshine,” Shane teased.

“Shut up, Shane.”

“I’m serious though. I mean if I was a ghost – I’d sure as shit not wanna stick around the place I was happy with the dude that left me, you know?”

Ryan turned back around, throwing a bright grin at the camera. “What, when I dump your ass for being a jerk you’re not gonna hang out around the apartment after your death?”

“You aren’t gonna dump me if you haven’t yet – you love me,” Shane taunted. Ryan’s grin grew. He knew they’d have to cut this part out, they were out but tried their best not to flaunt it on the show when they could avoid it.

“You better start showing me some appreciation too, jackass; do you know all the ways I’ve researched killing someone?”

“Oh, you know I love that psycho streak.” Shane picked up his pace, catching the back of Ryan’s coat and tugging him into a gentle kiss.

***

“Shane? Shane.” Ryan croaked, his voice raspy with disuse.

“What?” Shane grumbled next to him, muffled by his pillow.

“I’m cold. I can’t hear the heater.”

Shane’s head lifted slowly, his hair sticking out randomly. “It is kinda cold.”

He kicked his way out of his sleeping bag and padded over to the window. “Oh shit, that’s probably why. Come check it out, baby.”

Ryan groaned and grabbed his phone, turning on the camera and making his way over to the window. There was at least a foot of snow already gathered on the ground, and more falling steadily. On top of that, the lights were out down the entire block, as far as Ryan could see.

“Power outage. Probably the snow knocked something loose.”

“Shit, what do we do? We’re gonna freeze.”

“We’re not gonna freeze,” Shane teased. “If you wanna pack up I can go outside, see if I can find a shovel. There’s no way we’re driving the car without shoveling it out first.”

“No!” Ryan said a little louder than necessary. “I mean - No, it’s — It’s like two in the morning and we have our sleeping bags. One cold night isn’t so bad. I’ll check the camera battery.” Ryan shuffled over to where the camera was set up on the tripod.

“We can zip our sleeping bags together, staying close should help us stay warm and I don’t think the cold from the floor will seep up too bad,” Shane offered.

“You just wanna cuddle.”

“Pretty much always.”

“Battery should last until morning.” Ryan circled the tripod and rubbed his hands on his arms, looking around the barren bedroom. “How do people live here?”

“They don’t. The house is for sale isn’t it?” Shane kept his head down, zipping the sleeping bags together.

“Shut up, Shane. You know what I mean. In Saint Paul. This place is bitter.”

“It’s quite lovely actually - it’s one of the biggest cities in Minnesota.”

“Maybe during the summer. Why did we decide to do this without TJ?”

Shane rose and wrapped his arms around Ryan, pressing their lips together briefly. “Because our anniversary is in two days and I wanted to take you somewhere beautiful. Obviously I can’t afford France, so I settled for a place with amazing food and nature, even if it’s a little cold. Plus - one city over has some of the best theaters and bars pretty much anywhere in my humble opinion.”

Ryan softened a little at Shane’s honest smile, knowing he was already too hopelessly in love to even argue. “Get me into bed before I freeze to death, you Sasquatch.”

Shane growled playfully. “Your wish is my command.”

They crawled under the covers, face to face as Ryan shivered, nuzzling tight to Shane’s body.

“You know...” Shane began, “I have something that’d probably warm you up real quick.”

“What’s that?” Ryan asked.

Shane chuckled, grinding his crotch against Ryan.

“Shane!” Ryan hissed. “We’re on camera.”

“Cut the shot. It’d warm you up, right?”

“I’m not having sex with you in a haunted house.”

Shane shrugged. “Suit yourself.” He wiggled over, pressing his back to Ryan’s chest. Ryan groaned pathetically, hating that his body was betraying him already. The idea  _ was _ something he’d considered. Quite frequently in fact. To actually go through with it was something totally different. And totally not work appropriate. But it was cold, and Shane felt so  _ good _ against him.

Ryan swore under his breath, grabbing Shane’s sweats and yanking just enough to expose the swell of Shane’s ass. He reached above their heads, switching off the mics they normally wore. It wouldn’t do anything for the cameras mic, but at least their fucking wouldn’t have HD sound as well.

“Thought it wasn’t appropriate,” Shane teased. Ryan lowered his own sweats, hissing when their skin connected; superheated in the icy room.

“Fuck you.”

“Spit’s fine.” Shane twisted his hips back. “I’m not dragging myself out of this bag to get the lube.”

“You sure?” Ryan panted.

“You’re mad at me anyways, right?”

Ryan smirked. “Sure am.” He smacked Shane’s ass hard, earning a happy cry.

Spit for lube wasn’t their favorite, but Ryan would be lying if he said it didn’t feel amazing for rough, needy sex. The exact type he wanted tonight. He stretched Shane as quick as he could, panting hot and damp against his neck. Shane hissed and grunted, little twitches of his hips urging Ryan on. Quiet pleas of harder and more were all the instruction Ryan needed. After all this time; they knew each other inside and out.

The first press of Ryan’s thick cock into Shane’s ass and he was biting his pillow, muffling his noise as well as he could.

They picked up a steady pace easily, lazy and shallow with their spooning position. Ryan held tight to Shane’s hip, his teeth grazing over Shane’s neck. He was distinctly aware of the steady red glow of the camera, his stomach flipping in a dirty excitement at the knowledge that all of this was happening on camera. Even without the body mics, Ryan knew the camera would be able to pick up the plasticky rustle of their sleeping bags and the quiet pleasure-pain whimpers slipping from Shane’s mouth on each inward push of Ryan’s cock.

Shane swore, his tone taking on a sharp edge. He grabbed Ryan’s hip and flipped them so he was on his stomach.

“I need more,” he pleaded. Ryan leaned down, kissing the back of his sweat dampened neck.

“I got you, Shane. Lemme in, come on.” Ryan pulled back and slicked himself up again; Shane was relaxing, but he didn’t want to risk hurting him regardless. He lined up and pushed in hard, savoring the shout it ripped from Shane’s throat. As he picked up a fast, deep speed, his body splayed over Shane’s, Ryan realized there was no hiding it now. Before, provided the sound was off, the view on camera could have been seen as restless sleepers. Now it was clear; sound or no sound, that Ryan was having sex with his co-host.

Shane slapped the wood floor above his head, shouting against the pillow. His hips twisted back, trying to force every inch of Ryan as deep as he could get him.

Ryan slid one hand over his bulging bicep and down, twining their fingers on the cold floor.

“You close, big guy?” He panted.

Shane nodded.

“Come on then. Give it to me, let it happen.”

Shane sobbed Ryan’s name, bringing his free hand up to grab at Ryan’s bicep. His short nails bit into his skin even through his shirt and he screamed, tossing his head back.

Ryan’s shout mirrored Shane’s when Shane’s ass clamped down on his cock. As shudders wracked Shane’s body, Ryan didn’t need to check to know he was coming, his ass fluttering with each rope that spilled into his sweats. Ryan forced himself to keep moving, driving deep as he could. He swore against Shane’s shoulder when he finally came, spilling hot and wet inside his lover. The final few thrusts were easy; the telltale humorous squelch making them both chuckle as they came down from their orgasms.

Ryan pulled out carefully and wiggled out of the sleeping bag, holding his sweats thigh level as he waddled to the bathroom nearby to clean up. He could hear Shane laughing as he did. They cleaned up and Shane got himself into a clean pair of boxers before they cuddled back into the sleeping bag.

“Two things,” Shane mumbled when Ryan was nearly asleep.

“Hm?”

“One - we just made a sex tape with a company camera.”

Ryan wheezed, burying his face against Shane’s chest. “Shut up, Shane, I’m deleting the footage.”

“I know. But second... All your ghosties just got to watch you fuck my brains out.”

Ryan’s wheezing turned into an outright cackle and he punched Shane in the shoulder. “Jesus Christ, Shane.”

Shane laughed, cuddling a little tighter to Ryan. “Go to sleep, baby.”

***

Shane groaned softly, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “In theory, last night was a great idea. In reality - I’m gross and sore.”

Ryan laughed heartily, nodding as he packed up the camera. “I know the feeling. Gonna take the longest, hottest shower when we get back to the hotel.”

“Share one with me,” Shane said, flipping his camera on. “We have a date this afternoon.”

“After that snowstorm, are you nuts?”

“It’s snow, Ryan. You’re not gonna waste away. I packed an extra coat in my bag for you just in case.”

Ryan’s hands paused over the bag he was packing. He looked up at Shane. “You did?”

“I saw it might snow, wanted to make sure you were comfortable.”

Ryan huffed a laugh and nodded. “Sometimes you can be sweet. I think the biggest question though, is how we can get out of this snow mountain.”

“Lemme get dressed and I’ll find a shovel or ask a neighbor.”

“You can’t just go ask a stranger,” Ryan hissed.

“Why not? What’s gonna happen?”

“Shane, we’re not from around here.”

“So what? Minnesota Nice, right?”

“Yeah - until someone shoots you for trespassing.”

Shane snorted and passed Ryan the phone, grabbing his bag and beginning to dress. “You realize we’re not too terribly far from where I grew up.”

“Mhm, and you’re an asshole, so.”

“Behave.”

“Bite me.”

“Tempting.”

The two shared a laugh, the tension of last night dissolving the more the sun rose, warming the cold wooden floors of the empty house. They piled down the stairs, bags in tow, and filmed a few final shots on their phones as they discussed the few findings they caught the night before, as well as what Shane may have planned for the rest of their vacation.

“Alright, do you wanna brave the outdoors or are you hiding in the haunted house?” Shane asked when they reached the front door.

“You know, I’m gonna stay in the haunted house. Right by the fucking door in case a ghost tries to kill me. I’ll take that over the frozen tundra out there.”

Shane rolled his eyes and threw open the front door.

Ryan’s scream echoed Shane’s own startled shout, both men jumping backwards at the large creature blocking the exit.

“Sorry! Sorry!” The creature shouted, voice muffled with layers of fabric. The furry head shape was pushed down to reveal the much smaller - and much more human - head of the real estate agent that was in temporary care of the mansion.

“Sorry!” She said again, holding her hands up. “It’s cold out there, just staying warm.”

Shane looked back at Ryan, his hand over his heart. Ryan was pale, a nervous grin spreading over his face.

“You scared the shit out of us. Including the emotionless demon over here,” Ryan teased. The agent laughed.

“Sorry guys. Just wanted to make sure you made it through the night okay. I shoveled the car out - was afraid you guys found another way to the hotel after the blackout.”

“Nah, our camera had enough battery life to make it through the night.”

“Good. Catch anything fun?”

“A couple of weird noises that we know of, but there’s hours of footage to go over,” Ryan said, readjusting the bag on his shoulder.

“Thanks again for letting us do this,” Shane said.

“Hey, no problem. Honestly I’m looking for anything that’ll get this property sold and I figure if it’s featured on a popular site like Buzzfeed - who knows.”

“Good point. We’ll make sure to make a note that it’s for sale and include the website when we post the video,” Ryan said.

She smiled. “Thanks for that. You guys need anything else before you take off?”

“Nah, you already did all the hard work - shoveled us out, made Ryan wet his pants - you’re hitting on all sevens this morning.”

“Shut up, Shane,” Ryan grumbled. He shook his head. “No, thank you again.”

“Drive safe. The roads should be salted but you know, winter.”

Shane nodded. “Oh yeah, I’m from the Chicago area, I know how it is. We’ll keep safe.” She stepped inside and headed up the stairs, allowing them to exit. Shane took the bag from Ryan so he could balance, his shoes having less traction on the slick snow.

Shane started up his camera again and stopped on the path to the car. “Hey, Ryan?”

Ryan stopped reluctantly, his cheeks and nose already getting red from the biting wind whipping around them. “What? Shane, I’m cold.”

“I hate to tell you this Ryan,” Shane said solemnly. “You’re about to get even colder.”

Confusion furrowed Ryan’s brow. Just as realization came over him, Shane reached his free hand out and shoved. Ryan stumbled, slipping on the snow before losing the fight against gravity. He fell backwards, nearly disappearing into the deep pile of powdery snow that had piled up on the side of the walkway.

“Shane, you son of a bitch!” Ryan screamed. He fought against the snow, sinking deeper into the dry fluff every time he moved.

Shane took advantage of the moment, rushing toward the car. He tossed the bags in the backseat and managed to get turned around just as Ryan reached him. A handful of snow smacked him in the face, his cheeks burning with cold instantly. Shane laughed despite it, tossing his phone into the seat of the car and wrapping his arms around Ryan. They struggled back and forth for a moment, each trying to shove the other into the snowbanks surrounding the car.

Ryan managed to get a foot behind Shane’s knee, dragging it forward as he pushed Shane back. They landed hard on the ground with Shane at the bottom, knocking the wind out of them. Shane laughed first, wrapping his arms around Ryan’s waist.

“Sorry baby.”

“No you’re not,” Ryan said, looking down at him.

“No. But it’s nice to see you smile like this.”

Ryan’s grin widened. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Shane’s mouth, a laugh bubbling up from his chest. “Your mouth is freezing.”

“Warm it up,” Shane mumbled, tilting his head up to catch Ryan’s mouth again. They kissed for a moment in the quiet morning, the cold air and the warmth of their bodies blending in a strange internal temperature fight. Ryan reached up as slowly as he could, his hand touching the cold side of a small snowbank. He pressed his fingers into it, pulling back to look down at Shane.

“Hey, big guy?”

“What?”

“You’re still a fucking asshole,” he whispered, using his hand to shovel out a handful of snow from the pile and drop it onto Shane’s face. He misjudged, however, and the entire pile fell forward, covering them both from shoulders up in the cold mess.

They shot up from it, a fresh burst of laughter as they struggled to their feet, leaning on one another and sharing even colder kisses on the way to the car.

“I’ll drive,” Shane said, brushing snow out of Ryan’s dark hair.

Ryan’s laughter faded by the passenger door, his eyes searching Shane’s cold reddened face.

“What?”

“I love you, Shane,” Ryan whispered.

Shane smiled. He reached out, brushing a few stray flakes of snow off Ryan’s eyelashes. “I love you too, Ry. Even if you’re a big pansy about snow.”

“Keep kissing me in it and you might change my mind.”

“I might,” Shane agreed. “I got a whole week to try, don’t I?”


End file.
